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(Must be read with an Italian accent)

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One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don’t even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings
me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock.

I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand.

I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better no shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: “Peace on
you”. I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy.

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[The Italian Man Who Went To Malta]

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One day I´m gonna to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning I go down to eat a breakfast. I tell the waitress that I wanna two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her “I wanna two piece (piss)”. She said “Go to the toilet”. I said “You no understand. I wanna to piece (piss) on my plate”. She said “You better not piss on your plate you son of a bitch!” I don’t even know the lady and she called me the son of the beach. Latter, I go to eat at a bigger restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fork. I tell her “I wanna the fork (fock)” and she tells me “Everyone wanna fuck!” I tell her “You no understand. I wanna fork (fock) on the table!” She said “You´d better no fuck on the table! You son of a bitch!” So I go back to my room in the hotel, and there is no sheets (shits) on the bed. Called the manager and tell him “I wanna the sheets (shit)” He tells me to go to the toilet! I said “You no understand. I wanna the sheet (shit) on my bed”. He said “You´d better not shit on my bed, you son of a bitch” I go to the check out and the man at the desk said “Peace on you” and I said “Piss on you too, you son of a beach”. I´m gonna back to Italia, ‘Arrivederci’

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The Italian Man Who Went To Malta. I´m gonna back to Italia, ‘Arrivederci’. Complete Full Transcript, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.